To preserve the patience of my twitter followers, I held back a collection of untweetable outbursts and recorded them below throughout the past four months. There's a reason these weren't tweet-worthy, so please feel free to read no further, making this a complete opt-in service.
Hopefully, this will be better than the The Godfather deleted scene of Michael's body guards in Sicily eating fruit in a silent room.
Sept 2, 7:45 am - There must be a new shoe releasing at Footlocker today, or something, because there are about twenty people in line.
Sept 2, 8:03 am - Money line from @barryap1: "It's as if ESPN never had problems crossing the line between editorial and advertising." http://deadspin.com/5836538/espn-will-put-unranked-texas-in-the-top-25-now-that-they-own-the-longhorn-network
Sept 2, 10:19 am - I just invested $1 in tomorrow's $91 million Powerball.
Sept 2, 10:32 am - I would totally submit pictures to @captivate if my office had a good view.
Sept 6, 6:11pm - Adeiny Hechavarria will be the second most exciting player in the Arizona Fall League.
Sept 6, 9:21pm - Who's better on bass? Tony Garnier or George Porter, Jr?
Sept 6, 9:40pm - Dude, Strasburg is back. #99mph
Sept 6, 10:36pm - Goddamn, Jerry owned "Visions of Johanna" before he passed. #dylan
Sep 8, 1:13pm - MJ "why? Why?" #np
Sep 8, 4:19pm - Just blocked @foxrobot because I h-a-t-e the Fox Robot.
Sep 8, 6:50pm - it looks like every restaurant on the UWS has a B or Grade Pending from the NY Health Dept. #gross
Sep 8, 7:16pm - Go Craig Kimbrell! #fantasy #playoffs
Sep 8, 7:20pm - I didn't know Justin Turner had 47 at bats, let alone 47 rbi. #Mets
Sep 8, 7:24pm - Why we don't pay for Saves: Craig Kimbrell #Braves
Sep 8, 7:27pm - "He's not selling any alibis, as you stare into the vacuum of his eyes." #dylan
Sep 8, 8:06pm - How would @oshman react to Astros to the American League?
Sep 8, 8:54pm - hate the Packers, watching Julio Teheran pitch instead.
Sept 21, 2:30pm - Swisher uncorked a throw after favoring it for days, but is looked like there was pain there.
Sept 21, 2:35pm - As a Cubs fan, seeing Larry Rothschild with the Yankees is still infuriating.
Sept 21, 2:44pm - Aaron Laffey is doing his best to avoid the #Yankees postseason roster.
Sept 21, 3:10pm - That's a Gold Glove play by D Jeter.
Sept 21, 5:17pm - Sabathia's going for 20, Hellickson for ROY.
Sept 21, 5:55pm - Poetry from @zacharylevine: "Homer-ravaged pitcher finds shelter in Houston lineup" http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2011/09/21/reds-2-astros-0-homer-ravaged-pitcher-finds-shelter-in-houston-lineup/ #Reds #Astros
Sept 22, 7:58pm - Matt Moore is great so far in the Bronx, 5 K's in first 2 innings
Sep 22, 8:15pm - #RedSox fans watching this #Rays / #Yankees game must be so upset. Matt Moore is awesome; the Rays are great and getting better.
Sep 22, 8:16pm - it's Rays 9, Yankees 0
Sept 23, 11:19pm - The Brewers have the best tailgate in baseball, and the best team outside Philadelphia in the NL.
Sept 23, 11:22pm - The Cubs celebrate a shortstop with terrible defense getting 200 hits, and the Brewers win the division. #ugh
Sept 29, 1:38pm - Atlanta fans don't care. MT @DKnobler In Atlanta, no one takes the fall @mlbbowman: Braves will bring back their entire coaching staff
Oct 2, 4:38pm - If "clutch" existed, that would have not been clutch. But, "clutch" does not exist. #Jeter
Oct 2, 4:44pm - Oh man, Aaron Rodgers, 50-yd TD @nflredzone
Oct 4, 9:09pm - AJ Burnett has not had a good year. He hasn't been good in a while. Maybe he should lose those stupid necklaces.
Oct 7, 3:44pm - Jim Leyland picks his battles and wins.
Oct 7, 7:21pm - @cantpredictball Yuniesky Betancourt, post-season hero.
Oct 8, 1:12pm - "Relationships of ownership, they whisper in the wings to those condemned to act accordingly and wait for succeeding kings." Bob Dylan 1964
Oct 10, 3:21pm - Thanks, Deanna @DFigurito, very helpful. RT @EverydayHealth: Foods that do your boobies good: http://t.co/oDcnnvkN
Oct 10, 5:25pm - Ron Washington needs a bump.
Oct 10, 8:19pm - Ryan Perry is really good...
Oct 10, 8:34pm - I thought Brandon Inge was a totally nice guy, until I saw his tatt's.
Nov 22, 7:40am - @brotz13 Buster may need to take a step back from the ol' twitter machine.
Nov 22, 8:20am - Buster's getting defensive https://twitter.com/#!/Buster_ESPN/status/138938285803315200
Nov 23, 3:58pm - Is Brian Ching really going to retire? Say it ain't so, @brianching @MLS
Nov 25, 4:10pm - You're not a bad tweeter, @Citibank, but the people at the banks are terrible at communicating, particularly listening and speaking clearly.
Nov 27, 11:06am - Coño, @Sporting_Gijon 0 @LevanteUD 2
Nov 29, 12:11am - Big day tomorrow, good night! #deletedscene
Nov 30, 8:44am - Is Arlo White moving to New York? @arlowhite
Dec 2, 11:30pm - Exciting time to be a Marlins fan, eh?
Dec 4, 8:58am - Canadian band @Nickelback is the best rock band in the world (at deflecting criticism). cc: @PeterMoylan
Dec 4, 2:57pm - Oh Jesus, Tebow just threw a TD pass.
Dec 4, 9:04pm - The #Cubs trading Tyler Colvin for a 3rd baseman is a solid Winter Meetings rumor.
Dec 5, 4:40pm - @CubsDen More like 5/$175.
Dec 7, 2:40pm - Tourists just commented that being in New York is stressful, and they're ON VACATION.
Dec 11, 12:10pm - @JonHeymanCBS No, Prince is not returning to Milwaukee. Pls stop asking.
Dec 14, 8:31pm - The Holiday Spirit is alive when you see a creepy man with a younger woman and later realize it's an innocent night out for a father/daughter
Dec 14, 8:32pm - I'm so glad to have this safeguard because that last tweet was rubbish.
Dec 14, 8:33pm - So was that last one #rubbish #english
Dec 16, 4:59pm - @Number1Baseball Much better value for the Twins, getting essentially an equal player
Dec 16, 8:56pm - If the Blue Jays don't value Luis Perez, the #Cubs should trade for him.
Dec 30, 8:10am - Sounds like the Andrew Bailey trade was basically all about Raul Alcantara: http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/majors/trade-central/2011/2612761.html
|Season's Greetings from the Corleone Family|