Friday, April 15, 2011

Chatty Subway

The fourth car of the #5 express train this morning was abnormally chatty.

A few individuals encroached on my commuting solitude with their annoying and incessant pre-8am conversations. I don't really have much baseball stuff to comment on.

If forced, we could talk about the fun of looking at early standings and suspending disbelief. Look at the AL Central, where the Indians and Royals are tied for 1st place. If every team has hope on Opening Day, what do you call it two weeks later when your crappy team is in 1st place?

The good news is Pedro Feliciano
can spend all year with his family.
The Yankees have put a few wins together to lead the AL East. It's not gonna happen, but how great would it be for baseball if their rotation, and now LOOGY, concerns are warranted and the the upstart Orioles and Blue Jays both made the playoffs? I mean, it still seems likely that Toronto and Baltimore will finish in 4th and 5th place, but again, that's not how everyone feels when looking at the the standings on April 15th. A very good friend of mine, Adam B, for years has been preaching to the masses that it's too early to even look at Standings until June or July. He's right.

Okay, just to try something a little different today, let's flashback the the 5 train:

Conversation 1
A man and woman, in their late 40s/early 50s, standing beside the pole at the back of the car.
If social norms were different, I would tell this lady that no-one cares that her son hates his first job out of college. And, can she please speak lower. To the gentleman, you look like a respectable, clean-cut professional. Thanks you for responding to your loud lady friend in a normal volume. While I'm far from being a fashionista, I don't think the charcoal pants, striped shirt, and blue blazer are really working for you today.

How do you get to work?
Stopping at Fulton Street shook things up a bit in the car, as people got on and off. I drifted toward the center of the car, where I smashed directly into the crossfire of a real doozie. How could this car be so chatty this morning? Usually, these trains are quiet, aside from the occasional headphones that are too loud.*

Conversation 2
Lady 2, OoMG, you are the worst. The volume, the shrieking, the complaining that your daughter is moving to the Village. Please, for the love of all that is good and Holy, keep it down.
Lady 3, you're blabbing on and on, all I hear is noise. Then, you had to stand out. You were soooo upset? Really? Thaaaat upset? Please, be quiet. You are annoying.
When Lady 3 got off the train at Union Square, the loud goodbye began. "Ooooh, this was such a nice commmute!! Way better than just reading the paper." Lady, please.

*On a related note, have you seen those people on the Subway who play music from their smart phones like it's a mini boom box? In the past two weeks, I've come close to confronting a few of these clowns. My main issue with it, besides the discourteousness, is that the sound quality is so terrible when you push those tiny phone speakers to max volume.

Bonus Subway Incident
This is from the same trip, where the three ladies above were basically shouting. At the Union Square stop, a genuine weirdo pushes his way screaming "Excuse me! Excuse me!" He's scrambling to get a seat, like it's musical chairs. The thing is, other people were about to sit down and he totally bogarted a spot by yelling and taking it.

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